How to Embrace Your Sexuality and Liberate Yourself

In this episode Ev’yan Whitney discusses how to feel positive about yourself and liberated in your sexuality and heal your own sexual traumas.

BACKGROUND:

Ev’Yan Whtiney is a sexuality doula, writer and facilitator whose work focuses on liberating women through decolonizing, unshaming, and freeing sexuality. Since 2011 she has empowered women to reclaim their sexuality and connect with their sensual body by education and giving them a safe space to own who they are without judgement.

Before she came into her calling, she had to confront her own traumas and uncover what was behind the shame she had about sex. She is the host of the podcast Sexually Liberated Woman which highlights, celebrates and encourages sexual liberation in every form. She is also the author of sensual self; a sensual self-guided journal that helps you get in touch with your sensuality and come home to yourself.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE EPISODE:

Ev’yan gives tips on how to heal your sexual traumas through understanding and cultivating a healing relationship with your body.

“I think that a really great way to start to bring in safety with your own body is starting with yourself the relationship that you have with your body, in a solo way. a lot of us try to heal our sexualities and heal or sexual trauma within relationship with someone else. I’m not knocking. I think that that can be a really beautiful resource.

But I also have seen the power and being able to focus on your own healing, like healing the relationship that you have with your body, being able to figure out like, what does my body and also like, when my body is screaming at me to create a boundary or to slow down or to stop?

What relationship do I have with that, like outside of sex? You know, like, what sort of relationship do you have with, with consent between you and your body on a daily basis.

Ev’yan discusses how to feel confident in yourself and body positivity.

“I think a lot of a lot of people think that you just say this affirmation and all of your shame and traumas gonna go away, but it’s, I mean, an affirmation is one part of a long process of coming back home to yourself and finding that confidence within yourself.

So I see a lot of people relying on affirmations and thinking that’s the only thing but it’s like, are you going to therapy, you know, like that.

That can also be a really beautiful addition to this body love in this body positivity that you’re doing yourself with yourself. Another thing I see a lot is like self-care. Like, that’s our great but also, it’s like, you know, are you actually doing the work to get to the root of what is keeping you from feeling confident and feeling free and feeling safe.

Ev’yan gives tips on how to not become negatively influenced by social media in how we perceive ourselves.

So the other thing that I want to say too, that I think is really important is that like, us not feeling confident in our bodies our, sexualities, us feeling shame about our sexuality, us being disconnected from our sexual bodies. That is a reflection of the world that we live in. Now, like this isn’t happening in a vacuum.

And I think some of us forget that the context in which all of this stuff is happening, you know, like, it’s, it’s not, it’s not like we woke up one day and we just started putting bad thoughts in our heads about confidence. Like, it’s like what we see in the media. It’s what we see on social media.

It’s things that we put on our parents say, or ex-boyfriend saying about our bodies, like, yeah, it’s all happening in this space. And so, I just like to invite for us to give ourselves grace because it’s really hard to change patterns.”