How to Express Emotions Through Pain and Joy w/ Ruby Dhal

Ruby Dhal

How to Express Emotions Through Pain and Joy w/ Ruby Dhal

In this episode, Ruby discusses how writing helped her on her healing journey.



Ruby Dhal has devoted her life’s work to helping others get through lingering hurt and pain with her words. She is a British-Afghan speaker, performer, and best-selling author of five books of poetry, prose, and self-help. Ruby has a half a million following on social media and has shared some of her work on Instagram.


Since starting her page she has gained a vast amount of support from readers and well-known celebrities around the world. In 2017 Ruby was featured on Harper Bazaar’s India Writer Hotlist and in 2018 was also featured on the list of 100 instapoets of 2018 from 


Ruby’s articles compose of healing, self-love, heartbreak, mental health, culture, and feminism. She has appeared in two YouTube documentaries and performed on BBC Asian Network and BBC Radio London. 




Ruby discusses what is self love and how to realize your self-worth. 


“When you love yourself. You need to see Self Love is the same thing with love with other people. So I love my dad but there are days when he pisses me off. There are days when I love my partner but there are days when you really annoys me and I argue with him. Self-love is the same thing. It’s you loving yourself and you can be upset with yourself and you can tell yourself off it’s okay. You know, when you love your family when you love your dad you love your brothers, your sisters you don’t love them all the time. 

I think You love them but some days you are upset, some days you fight. you love them, including all their imperfections, you acknowledge their imperfections and that’s the point of self-love. 

It’s not that I am going to put myself on a pedestal and say You are amazing. I’m not going to do I’m gonna say I am imperfect. I do have infections. I do have insecurities. I don’t like myself on some days when I don’t look good, like myself when I do something wrong. However, I love myself, on the whole, this is a relationship with myself  I have chosen .”


Ruby gives tips on how to overcome a negative toxic mentality 


“I feel like so often we can get into this negative mentality for a variety of reasons. If You’re frustrated when you’re upset with your life. Either it’s because something happened the way that you want it to happen in your life or it’s because you are looking at other people and that’s reminding you of what’s lacking in your life, it’s twofold.

. The first thing you need to do is find out why you’re feeling that way. so if I go on Instagram and put up social media and I see someone with something and instantly makes me feel upset , clearly something going on within me that’s made me feel like that. Because that person’s happiness is detached from me. So the first thing you need to ask yourself is Why are you feeling like this?What is it? 

 is it because something didn’t work out? Is it because you wanted something to work out but someone else had that thing now? What can you do about it? Okay, if it didn’t work out, can you change the fact that it didn’t work out? If you can’t then worrying co about it or getting upset about it isn’t going to help you.

 Can you do something about it? If you can, we already have your solution? Essentially, the reason why we feel this way, often why we’re frustrated, is because either we feel like we don’t have control, or we feel like no matter what we do, other people are going to do better than us. 


And we need to stop the comparison and we need to gain back control. We need to stop victimizing ourselves essentially in both scenarios, stop seeing ourselves as the victim of a situation and take back control.”


In this episode we discuss :


  • What inspired Ruby to become an author 
  • Why she chose Instagram to showcase her writing and how she became an instapoet 
  • The process behind her writing and how it has helped her heal in her life
  • How can individuals better work through their negative mentality 
  • Tips for how to get through a tough breakup 



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